Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Top 10 Worst Trick-or-Treat Candies

Top 10 Worst Trick-or-Treat Candies - "With Halloween fast approaching, one thing is on kids and adults minds: candy. Even with what seems to be shortened Trick Or Treat hours and crazy rules for kids these days, you know all they want is to get their hands on a huge candy booty. And if you are a parent you know you look forward to sneaking some of that candy after the little ones go to bed. So what does it take to keep these kids and parents happy? Well one thing is for certain, it probably wont be anything on this list. You can have the creepiest house and have all the horror decorations you want, but if you give out these to trick or treater's then you may find yourself wiping egg residue off your precious decorations."

10) Bubble Gum- Here's the thing about bubble gum and cant eat it. Not only that but the gum that you usually get for Halloween loses its flavor in about 15 seconds and even if you decided to keep chewing it after the flavor is gone, it starts to get hard to chew overtime. And lets not forget that sometimes the gum can be hard as a rock, and that's the last thing you want when reaching for a piece of gum. And don't even get me started on getting a single stick of Wrigley's gum in a candy bag.

9) Dum Dum Suckers- I just don't get the point of these. They are the tiniest little suckers ever so its almost an insult to big suckers like tootsie pops or blow pops. They come in a variety of nasty flavors like butterscotch, buttered popcorn, and ever 'mystery' flavor. If you do happen to get a flavor worthwhile, you get all the way to the end in like 2 minutes and the cheap stick that it's on gets all soggy and tastes terrible. Do everyone a favor and avoid these and get something bigger.

8) Mounds/Almond Joy- One thing I've come to figure out is there are a LOT of people who don't like coconut, kids and adults. So you can understand how nothing ruins Halloween candy more than seeing a large amount of chocolate only to see a bunch of Mounds or Almond Joy's that have to get throw out. There aren't many other candies made with coconut, so shouldn't that be the first indication that nobody likes coconut, chocolate coated or not.

7) Bit-o-honeys- Who ever decided to make a candy to taste like honey and put a bee on the package to appeal to kids made a mistake. These things are just a failed attempt to do something different with a taffy style candy, but in the end the remain uneaten. They are hard, they stick to your teeth, and they just taste awful. They used to at least coat them with chocolate which made them tolerable, but you never see the choc-o-honeys in Halloween candy sizes. Oh and the fact that little pieces of the wrapper always seem to get stuck to the candy makes it even less appetizing.

6) Apples- I know an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but who ever came up with the bright idea to put an apple in a kids bag? Kids have a tough enough time eating fruits and vegetables when their parents tell them to, so its no wonder that apples at Halloween either get discarded or thrown back at the house it came from. If you are gonna give a kid an apple, you at least should make sure its a Candy or Carmel apple because at least then there is some sugar to go with it.

5) Smarties- You get home from a busy day or trick or treating and dump out your candy bag on the living room floor. The first thing you notice is a plethora of Smarties. It seems like everyone thinks Smarties are a good thing, but you get way too many of them to enjoy. To alter a joke from the late comedian Mitch Hedberg, Smarties are like pancakes: "all encompassing at first but by the end you're f'n sick of em." With so dozens of packs of smarties in a candy bag, it's only a matter of time before they all begin to taste like chalk.

4) Halloween Popcorn Balls- I never really understood the point of the popcorn balls for trick or treaters. It's not quite popcorn and its not quite caramel corn, but they most likely are disgusting. Popcorn balls on Halloween are the equivalent of fruit cake for Christmas. Everyone thinks its a good idea to make them but very few people actually eat them. It's a failed attempt to make a healthy snack fun. When the only thing fun about them whipping them at your younger sibling or using them as a bowling ball, it probably means they suck. And they are even nastier when they are colored. Eww.

3) Candy Corn- This one is tough for me to put on my list because I personally love candy corn. Give me a bag of the pumpkin ones and I'll be your friend for life. However, I have learned that I am in the minority when it comes to candy corn. It seems this candy staple in Halloween time is about as popular as rain while trick or treating. Candy corn is just too sweet for most people, but what do you expect when it's made out of nothing but sugar, corn syrup, marsh mellows and honey. 20 million pounds of candy corn is sold each year, but apparently not that many people enjoy to eat it.

2) Change- Ok so it's not candy, but after sifting through your candy haul there always seems to be some loose change underneath the pile. Really? Who actually thinks giving kids a handful of change instead of candy was a good idea. If you really don't want to give kids candy, at least don't give them money. All they are gonna do is use the change to buy candy anyways....that is if you can even find a place to sell you something for .12 cents. With all the money these houses probably shell out in an evening, they could of at least attempted to buy a cheap bag of candy instead. At least then it would look like you're trying to please the little ones.

1) Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kisses (the orange and black things)- How can this not be number one? I am sure the name threw people off as many people don't even know what they are called. Whether you know the name or not, you mostly likely know that these candies are awful. The crazy thing is that very few people like them but TONS of people seem to give them out. They try and make them all "Halloween" in the orange and black wrappers, but there is nothing that people hate more about Halloween than these candies.


Anonymous said...

I wouldn't mind getting candy corn! I never liked getting taffy.